reason 29.5.10

Everything happens for a reason. I believe so. There is a reason lying in everything that occurs around us, whether it's apparent or not, whether it's even related to you or maybe it's just for some other person or living thing. Occurrence of A may lead to the happening of B which could result in C.

If it rains today at this particular time and not tomorrow.
The sun shines wildly just as you walk out of the house.
Being told frankly you're boring.
Having a friend who smiles as he tells you, "maybe you should be more optimistic about it."
Getting chased by a dog.
An apparent stranger smiling at you.

Panic striking at unusual moments.
Hearing a good  song you never heard before while you are walking.
Coming across another website from your email.
Being ignored for no obvious reasons.
Finding a piece of note someone else has written left on the library desk.
Loss of electricity on the night before exam.
Meeting a familiar person at an unfamiliar place.

Indeed some situations pass by us without triggering any thought, some just don't mean anything to us, some make us feel good, some are funny, some are considered stupid, some annoy us, some make us sick, some trouble us, some are saddening, some are just plain bad. But underneath it all, negatives aside, it's probably related to or leading to something better for us, able to make us think something that never crossed our minds before, could even be a life-changing situation. Who knows?

this soul 25.5.10

this soul finds it is really hard to breathe.
it is really tired somehow.
finding inner peace on her own
this soul just wants to be heard, but not to be seen
just for a person to listen willingly.

dear soul,
maybe being complicated makes you even harder to get to know.
it pushes people away
but somehow, it is what this soul is.
my dear soul,
your smile and your eyes together are your best assets you have
so, please smile
and take all your pain out for the moment.

so many things 11.4.10

So many things...

left unsaid.
kept in my head.
that should have been spoken.
that I make mistakes of.
I am afraid of.
worrying me.
that make no sense at all, but bugs me anyway.
stopping me from doing what I want.
made me put up an invisible wall between myself and others.
make me wonder, what can I do about it?
that I can still do.
left to do, and I will do.

For the while that I will keep living, I should keep striving.

mak dan abah kata 1.4.10

Di suatu majlis kenduri doa selamat di rumah kakakku, sempena kakak aku yang baru pindah rumah, seorang jiran pernah tengok aku dan berkata, ni sorang ni nape tak cakap pape pun?

Abah kata, nak tau apa yang aku fikir, tengoklah Facebook dia.

Mak kata, mungkin aku macam tak banyak cakap, tapi sekali cakap, hah... keluarlah terus benda yang unexpected.