see me 2.4.09

"See me."

Or, come and see me. Such words. Ah, I have to say, I don't like them. It represents that I have done something wrong. It's good though, they would explain to you things that you make mistakes of. But I know that at the moment I am not yet capable of getting the grip of it and clearing those mistakes yet. Clearly, for the recent 'see me' message by my Microbe demonstrator Alfred, it's something I know what about. Usually, when I get such messages, I end up ignoring them and so I never really end up seeing the people who asked me to see them. As if I already know what they want to tell me.

One thing I remember regarding this was back then when I keep failing my Math in Ausmat and Puan Mariyani keeps writing on my test papers with her red pen after she gave the markings. At the time I felt like it was no use if I went to see her if she tried to teach me all the things but I would end up understanding nothing, so I didn't go and see her at all. But I still wanted some kind of motivation. Instead of asking to be taught, I just took a note from her this particular day that I still kept. And even, I took it for another friend who I thought might benefit from it, although I did not know whether that friend really benefited from it or not or even remembered about it. I just did what Ifyani would always try to do: motivate herself and anyone she could, whatever circumstances.

Just some ordinary note it might be from a kind teacher.

Dear Ifyani,

Puan doakan semoga Ifyani sihat dan teruskan hingga BERJAYA dunia akhirat.
- Puan Mariyani (signed, 20.9.07)


Yeah well, probably because I had a talk with her about why I was failing back then and never seemed to improve, even for the simplest stuff. Not a kind of thing to do around here, especially not with the strict Alfred, who today even had a strange look on his face when he looked at my quiz paper answers, seemed like I danged there as well. The second quiz and I flunked again. Ding dong!

Rajin, If. Time to realise your capabilities and your pace. You gotta move, some others move faster than you. The only thing you had ever been successful at throughout your life - you don't wanna lose that again?

Ahha - come on now, move!