ongoing feeling~ 3.2.08

been talking to myself more than often lately.
is PMS striking? i think i hardly get that, and as my other self puts it, once it strikes, it strikes really bad. but i disagree. this isnt just that, it's a worse feeling. and it's been lasting longer than few days now. nowhere else to confide to other than to Allah and to my blogger, here.

yesterday was a reminder to a lot of things in my life, though. meeting friends i haven't met in a while, of those in primary school (accidentally) and in ausmat, for what maybe the last time.i met the 2 classmates of mine who will fly after this to australia, to curtin university. although because of my depressed feeling, i almost felt like i never ever wanted to go anywhere outside of my home, i still went to see them - it still went okay, it was good. managed to get a lil bit of info, maybe for me to fly next year~ God willing, if that will happen, insyaAllah this time ganbarimasu. another friend gave me a present, this one too will fly, with a lot of problems going on inside her head regarding transportation as she lives in kelantan. when the time came to part, it made me remember aussie 10. this class sucks and rocks at the same time for its own reasons. leaving them, saying goodbyes, with me in this really bad mood - ah, the phone's battery was dead - it doesnt make it any easier for me.

back in my room in my home, it just got messier than ever.
i'm back to the down-under feeling that i'm living in and not seem to be getting out of it.
this phone of mine, i wish to throw it to the fuchsia wall and watch it shatter. yet that wil never make things any simpler for me. wil need to contact qeela, go to mara to get the letter from them soon.