ah 14.4.08

Ah. Somehow kinda miss kontot. Who? He was a male cat I had back few years at home who loved putting his face in the middle of my legs to hide his face, in order to go to sleep as a way to bermanja, I guess. But he disappeared, don't know what happened to him, he never came back home. :(
And somehow I miss him lately, and the other cats at home. Cit (buncit, lol) is still at home, who I got at the same time with kontot, a female sibling of kontot. Her first-round daughter kerekot (speaking of her tail) and second-round daughter koko are also at home. Speaking of kerekot whom I call kot, always reminds me of kontot whom i called tot back then. Kot has this cracking voice everytime she meows, kinda funny. So at the same time, I miss kot... huhu. And I need not mention that I miss home, of my family there, now that I'm talking about the cats that I have at home.

Ah. Workloads. So many of them. It gets uncountable, sometimes I don’t know where to begin. Once I began, I can get too careful in certain aspects, so much it can consume so much time which is really unnecessary but for me, if I don’t do that, it feels incomplete.

Ah. People. So many attitudes and behaviours that are out of my understanding. It can drive me crazy, it’s so puzzling. Some other parts of it are amusing, though, it gives a whole new perspective to life to meet new people.

Ah. Food. So little of this, though, compared to the so many of the stuff mentioned above. It’s either I get too lazy to find this and get them, or I just don’t have what it takes (money) to get the food. Regardless of the fact that I have received my money from MARA, the habit of getting too little food for my own good sticks the same. It is to save money, and this, we all know, is very important. If not, I would have bought too many of what I don’t really NEED, but too many of what I just WANT.

Ah. Sleep. Too much or too little? Saa na. Sometimes I get too little of it, later on in the next sleeping session, I tend to give myself too much of it to redeem for the previous session. That seems unnecessary, again. Yet sleep is really one of the best things in the world, whew, indescribable.

Ah. Time. No one can really get enough of this. To get more of this sometimes, I tend to sacrifice the aforementioned things – food, sleep, going out or talking with people, maybe. Just to give more time to myself, which I do need. Yeah this is an important necessity, so it’s crucial to separate the time I spend with others (be it things @ people) and the time I spend with myself, in my own world. Indeed I still feel lost sometimes when I get left behind, maybe other people get used to my action of keeping things to myself and so they tend to leave it at that, not asking me anything else further. That feeling of being ignored, left out, alone, unimportant, arises yet again. Yet it happens, but really it’s not anyone’s fault.

Get used to it.

I am beginning to give myself a chance in life to get used to some things now. Time to get back to reality. Maybe, as they say, time to move on with life. Don’t look back. Err, jangan pandang belakang?

And there should be some point where I should start. Like for my workloads, if I want to stop feeling left behind, or maybe, stop feeling dumb enough in doing any of them or stop feeling lost by not being able to understand my subjects here in Monash, I got to start early, focus more in classes and lectures. If there would be extra timing anywhere, use it wisely to finish up my work or study. Study smart as people put it, not study hard. I don’t think I look like the study hard person, I don’t know about that, but I know my ways of studying. It rarely involves much use of the textbooks I own. Not to say that buying them was a waste, there are uses for it. I take back the knowledge contained within the books and put it in the computer. Possibly coz I know studying with the books or any physical notes tend to make me feel sleepy way faster than if I study with my laptop. This worked in AUSMAT before SSABSA, sure I feel confident enough it works for me now. Get any additional information I could get from extra resources like the internet, sure I love doing this since I love the internet – plus that I could do other things in between, like e-mails and games etc. Still I have to set my boundaries on that, I know. Still, not that I will always study with the computer only. Conventional ways are still on the go, since I won’t have the time or convenience to drag my laptop (and hard disk, hmm) around all that often – makes me wish I have a PDA or so, hehe. That’d be a dream; maybe I’d get that in another 10 years when I have more money (of which by that time, maybe PDAs are really old school already). So I still make my own notes and print some of the notes given my lecturers for instant use. Any other additional infos I took on the notes, I probably will transfer them into my laptop later on, seems like that really tells ya how the stuff in my laptop is my primary way to study. I enjoy doing notes with computer softwares, even if they can be tedious at times. Hey, one of those I enjoy, OneNote of Office 2007, and also EverNote that I used to use a lot last year; those EverNotes notes are still kept in my old AUSMAT folders, in case if I were to use them again. For all that effort, some say I am hardworking, “bagusnya”, “rajinnya”, which seem weird enough to me, haha, considering the fact that I just do all that since it’s my best studying method. I am really too lazy when it comes to opening up the books. Besides, to keep myself busy is a good way to forget other things bugging my mind, especially if it’s keeping me busy with the computer. If it is considered hardworking, then, cool :D

And also, it’s a big world out there with many kinds of people. Liven it up; people, food and opportunities may come to you when you least expect it. Hehe