resentment 2.12.08

Hate.

Ever since that day, I have been hating, for quite a while. Almost as if I could feel the fire burning inside of me. I wanted to splash water on you just like in the movies. Someone who is dear to me. For things I just could not accept. You know them yourself. And yes it eats me inside; kedo, shikata nai desu.

But when a "sorry" comes in, it changes things. The power of a word. Yes words are powerful, just like your previous words about me.

I don't know what I really feel anymore regarding my resentment. I can act like a volcano. I erupted, people may not know what I look like when I am mad, even I am unsure myself.

But these days I don't put fake smiles anymore. My smiles are honest. So do know, I am smiling from the bottom of my heart, and I am just trying to live my life. Resentful, cheerful, sad, tensed, blurred or sleepy etc, my smiles are really all I have that I know I have that can cheer the people around me and myself up.

I am not sure how to act around or what I feel regarding this. But my smiles, if you see them, you can bet, they are really for you and whoever that sees it. Have no doubt about that.