peaking thru the exam week 26.10.08

I have been very stubborn and lazy and ignorant before. God, how I was sorry. Sorry, I was guilty for not taking care of myself.

After two nights of boiling body tmperature, days of stinging pain in the head and a rush to emergency room to KPJ Seremban for an agonising pain in the head I definitely don't want another repeat of my migraine attack. Getting to hospital in the middle of the night gets you nothing but ouch just another injection in the buttocks to kill off the pain. ANything that comes into the stomach is also rejected aka vomitted aka damn hurt. I think for a split second of lying there in the hospital bed at 2 am in the morning few nights ago it struck my head, rather than the migraine pain or death, could I have chosen death instead? Astaghfirullah, no, would that mean I would have rather killed myself than suffer that unbearable pain in my head that did not seem to stop since the previous several days?

I will sleep.
I will eat.
I will get around for fresh air.
I will jump out.
I will walk and walk.
I will sing.
I will talk.
I will smile more and more.
I will love pink even more like I never imagined I would.
I would treat all my friends for joyous eat-out.
I will do anything in within my power that doesn't have any bad significance..

just,

God, don't put me though that again.

I'm glad to be alive and normal.

Many thanks to abah, mak, sume kakak2 dan in-laws, Rahman, Qeela, Kak Masitah, Sya, Anis and everybody... really couldn't have gone through it without you all. :)

sengal nak mampos 17.10.08

aku tak paham orang malaysia. lagi-lagi orang melayu yang pemalas buat kerja.

bila mereka buat kerja, dan kerja tu tak dapat diorang selesaikan, tiba-tiba nak salahkan orang lain. di mana tadi aku menerima panggilan telefon di rumah aku kat seremban yang meminta nombor telefon ayah aku perihal pinjaman bank, aku tersalah bagi nombor. ok, salah aku la.

nombor yang telah aku bagi tu nombor orang cina. pemanggil dari bank AGROBANK tu orang melayu. setelah aku sedar aku dah tersalah bagi nombor, aku dapat panggilan kali kedua daripada perempuan melayu tu. aku salah, so I apologised. but damn, whattaheck? marah aku pulak? kata aku memain? hello, aku bukan nak lari la ok, aku bukan sengaja kasi nombor yang tak betul la ok and I was just the daughter of the person you were looking for so what the heck are you putting the blame on me for!

bengong. tau la ko buat keje. tapi nak selesaikan kerja yang tak selesai (dan maaflah terbantut sikit bila aku terbagi salah nombor) jangan la nak marah orang lain je. walaupun ko dah penat dan benda tu tak selesai lagi jangan nak salahkan atau marah orang yang tak kena-mengena. pehal? orang keje kat bank sume macam ni ke? sengal nak mampos.

dr lim! 15.10.08

I wanted to go and see you today, I really do.

But this morning I was struck with a killer pain at my brains again, sorta like 8 months ago that caused me to be sent to hospital. Masih groggy dan kepeningan sekarang. I will blame technology and myself for this reason: teknologi melalaikan aku, dan aku merelakan diri sendiri dilalaikan. I was too lazy to eat and I also fell asleep last night so I barely ate anything yesterday and I spent too much time staring at the comp. Comp - my fav source for me to study, using ebooks and notes in my external HDD, tho I already had so many real books. Studying with real books, as I came to know it, easily makes me sleepy compared to studying with the comp.

Damn~ pening seh.

cling and clatter 14.10.08

One step closer to the edge, then I'll jump off the cliff. I'm getting there, very closely. What is that about?

Let's just say it's about letting go. :)

By the way, nak promote. Jika anda menggunakan Mozilla Firefox, download lah plugin FoxyTunes. One of the best plugins out there. And I love this song, from Bleach soundtrack. Tho, I had never watched that anime -_-"

I have one worrying thing in mind: exams haven't even started, and I'm already thinking of what to do during those months after exams. Hu -_-"


----------------
Now playing: Sen no Yoru wo Koete - aqua timez
via FoxyTunes

weeha part 2 8.10.08

I just got back from watching Eagle Eye. In some ways, I think there's some parts of it that are quite common with i, Robot; of robots to take control of the public in everything that they do, so to put an end to the insanity of the world caused by reckless acts of the humans. Hm, a thinking robot, that goes passing over its creator's orders to do what it thinks is right for humans to continue living in peace. Eagle Eye isn't really about such robots though, but the concept could be just similar. Ha, Shia Labeouf was in iRobot too, for a short moment. I first saw this guy acting in Even Stevens as Louis, which I like quite a lot and I like his character in it too. Moronic as Louis was, he's still a funny person who is also a good guy in some ways. I really wish I could've watched its last episode, which I never had the chance to (Leavin' Stevens) since I was in MRSM back then. Years have passed, and from that teenage character into an adult one, he's still a great actor; well, he is an adult now anyway.

Well, back to reality. Current music I am really into: acoustic songs from Lifehouse. Acoustic is just excellente. Gotta have more of such.

----------------
Now playing: Lifehouse - Take Me Away (Acoustic)
via FoxyTunes