self-pity - part 1 22.6.09

"Do you know what you're doing now? It's called self-pity."

It seemed like two persons originating from different lifestyles who had one significant thing in common. Or not, maybe we both had nothing in common but only that we share the same hope. I believe between two persons, there is always one thing you can share in common - then, even if it's hope, it's good. There was a reason why we met. I cannot leave a person hanging in the shadows all by herself without trying my very best to make things better, even if what she is doing annoys me sometimes. It was annoying, simply because I know there is no easy way out of our problems and sometimes I could only watch her in despair although I was a friend; but you know, I am still and always will be, trying my best. Even if I was just sitting next to the friend only listening without able to do much, since our problems can only be solved by ourselves. Motivation, maybe, is all I can try to give, even though that is what I lack of at times. Because I will never wanna leave my friend hanging in the shadows alone.

NANA is the story where two girls meet, both having different lives, but apart of their differences they can still hang together under the same roof with like and respect, through each other's problems. My life and hers, seem homologous to this.

Snap out of your ridiculous self pity.

Because I have been there before, I wouldn't want another person to be in the same shoes. Snap out - when you think too heavily that you're a burden and of no use and make no difference to the society, just snap out of it.

Self pity was my worst enemy.

mis, part 2 - communication 19.6.09

I have disappeared from the chatting community. Well, pretty much, heh. Has anyone seen me online much?

What I am trying to say is that I have come to dislike communication that comes in the written form, or something like that. I would use YM on those once in a blue moon days - em, sorta... hehe... sometimes to check what happened to my messenger and like to discuss some undone work for a soon-to-due assignment. That probably counts why I haven't been blogging much lately, haha, but oh well I don't dislike blogging, just kinda lazy?But.. Seriously? Yeah, MSN or YM or the like. If I am on, I am usually not chatting much, just being online as the status sets it, with a weird status maybe if I decided to go crazy with my words on that day and decided to tell people about it. But if it just involves typing and typing in the conversation, I guess I don't do that as often anymore. I really don't understand why much either, but I really dislike it.

Why? Well it can cause misunderstanding, for the main reason. And I have gone through it often enough - misinterpreting someone's SMS etc to the point that it could actually cause a bad ending. Written communication only puts out the words on some flat screen either on the phone or the monitor, sometimes it has no expression. Well you can add the expression using some words, still it can be missed or even be misunderstood as something else. Although it can be solved, and it doesn't happen all the time, still, adoi... don't you hate misunderstandings?

Direct communication. Callings and face to face interaction, I think are the best. You think of something that dissatisfies you regarding the other person you are currently talking to, you can express it in your words by saying it straight away, coming from your own mouth. Written communication, as I think, if there is dissatisfaction, like there's an argument going on or one party suddenly gets mad, then that person might just end it there. Like, ceh, malas ah nak reply mesej camni! Dang. Sudden stop in interaction of SMS there, for example, and the other party may not even know that you are upset. [Hm, one more reason to dislike technology for often it ruins the beauty of communication although it usually helps us to communicate. Yeah, I like its features but I can really hate technology a lot sometimes.] But if you're in direct communication, you can get mad right there and it's obvious - both parties might need to try to solve it.

But in direct communication, I think people tend to lie more. That's probably how you escape your problem: lying. To escape your problem using written communication: do not respond (reply SMS, comment, etc).

Hm, I still like it the direct way - which is what I am bad at, which, is why I need to improve it. Tell it to my face, not behind my back, not on a text message or anything the like.

Still, point is? I am not someone who likes chatting through instant messenger anymore, unless you're using Voice Calls. Heh. (It's not too bad, but I don't do it often anymore.) It's probably better to call people more often now too. Hmm.

But then again, when I say written, it doesn't really include conventional written ways to communicate such as sending snail mails and postcards. Those are still nice, don't you think? :)



And by the way, I really like this song! The vid, if you watch it, sure shows you that the real artists don't need to be in it to make it a cool vid.
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Now playing: Coldplay - Life In Technicolor ii
via FoxyTunes

mis 14.6.09

Why do I have to be upset when someone else is angry at me?

When it wasn't my fault to begin with - and I blame miscommunication.

Yeah, but I feel bad anyway.

It's always like this.

campylobacter jejuni 24.5.09

the bacterium name has nothing to do with this though, heh.

i look at joey and i wonder too as i am writing this. 4 weeks? kinda long there, leaving this blog around. even with the biggest pile of work, i've always set my time before. have i lost interest?

it seems like i keep thinking more to myself lately.