word #3 = luser 7.11.09

luser

(LOO.zur) n. A person who doesn't have the faintest idea what they're doing and who, more importantly, refuses to do anything about it. [Blend of loser and user.]

 

(wordspy.com)

 

 

I personally think, then, there are quite some lusers around me. It's hateable when you would not do anything about something you could have done something about. Life - is a learning process - when you learn something from it, you should try to fix it. Well, slow and steadily will do.

get out... or go out 29.10.09

My room. Wherever that my room turns out to be, as long as I am living in there. The room is dark, gloomy and lonely. Although it remains as a long-time comfort zone for me, where I can do anything I like without caring about anything or anyone else, it always has this sad, dark feeling that it buries within me. Negativity surrounds  me.

Thus what I need to do, although it has always been the safest place to be, is to get out of there. Exit the darkness.

Been stuck in the inside world for so long. The world outside has many opportunities, strange behaviours, inhumane actions and pain; a person should just get out and experience it, regardless of the weirdness and risks involved. A person can always learn something. But don't overdo it.

So, whatever the problem you have today, don't just weep indoors. Go out. Wherever, whatever. Because the outside world wants to connect with you. Baca Bismillah sebelum keluar...

pathetique 21.10.09

Di pagi-pagi buta sekali lagi... orang lain sedap tidur. Aku hanya berjaya tidur 1 jam dan buat masa ni aku tak nak kembali tidur lagi.

Buat apa pagi-pagi ni?

Mendengar lagu Beethoven's The Pathetique berulang kali. Yep, aku memang sukakannya. Sekarang ni ada dua versi dalam playlist aku, 1 daripadanya 18 minit lebih itu pun aku dengar beberapa kali, kejap saja melihat masa dah berlalu. Siapa lagi agaknya suka muzik  klasik yang satu pun ambik masa berbelas minit nak habis? Kalau ada, jom kongsi minat dengan aku. Tapi pelik  juga, dah suka classical music, pun juga suka alternative rock, agak contra tapi kalau dah suka apa boleh buat. Semalam Beethoven, esok Switchfoot, lepas tu pergi ke Mozart tak pun Bach, kemudian Yellowcard mungkin. Tapi aku ni tak pernah pula suka Simple Plan. Terpulang kepada artis tu sebenarnya. Oleh itu kalau nak kata aku ni dah makin tua sebab sangat suka dengar lagu klasik dan ini adalah hanya satu contoh daripada banyak-banyak classical music, ada betulnya. Orang lain dengar classical music terus mengantuk, jangan harap nak dengar lagu klasik konon untuk lagi inspire time belajar, tapi lain untuk aku.

Tak mengantuk pun, lagi suka adalah.

Memang dah tua kot aku ni. Cuma badan dan suara je bagaikan budak kecik.

it sucks to grow up 18.10.09

stop pretending
and really go on living
the way you really are

6+ am. ini adalah masa di mana kebanyakan orang tengah tidur dan paling liat nak bangun. aku pula telah tidur siang dan berjaga malam. mendengar lagu acceptance - take cover. aku tak ingat kewujudan lagu ni, dah agak lama rasanya, dan aku suka lagu ni setelah dengar dari streaming radio sky.fm alternative rock melalui screamer radio software. tapi kata-kata di atas bukanlah lirik dari lagu tu.ada juga lagu ben folds - still fighting it. dalam lagu ni pula boleh la dipetik kata-kata "it sucks to grow up".

itulah antara kepelikan yang berlaku kini
di ambang waktu peperiksaan
tiba-tiba tertanya-tanya mengapa aku seorang pelajar begini
memikirkan ilmu yang begitu kompleks dalam kepalaku
padahal aku dah cukup kompleks memikirkan keadaan mentalku sekarang
layakkah aku berada di sini?

sebenarnya hidup ini terasa di tahap itu sekali lagi.
kali terakhir aku berasa begini adalah tahun 2007.
biarpun hari yang berlalu berasa lebih baik berbanding hari-hari yang lepas
masalah itu tetap ada di situ.
bagaikan tiada penyelesaian.

and as she told me
how would you expect anyone to see you cry
if you don't show it?
if you don't talk about it?
but then how do I talk it out
when I already know the common stuff you were gonna say
would a person just try to look at things from a different perspective
and for once
give me a new opinion?

same thoughts, same thing.